Slippery fences, more rain & 41mph on a dual carriageway

The wait is over! My weekly update is here 😉

Hope everyone’s well. I’m in quite a good mood today as I’ve not got huge amounts to do after working hard last week and my coughing, spluttering, burping work acquaintance is off for 2 weeks! Do you know what makes that even better? I’m off the week he comes back!! (If he ever does).

Right, that’s the celebrations out of the way.

Me & Emma spent Saturday night in Leeds stopping over at Stephen’s house (Emma’s brother). We had a laugh and a drink or two.. or ten in Stephen’s case, then as the rain started getting heavy we decided to move indoors. Somehow, Stephen managed to fall onto his right eyeball. I didn’t see this happened but it apparently involved a slippery fence, a drunk person and a concrete floor.

Not Stephen
Anyway, he opened up his eyelid in the most spectacular fashion making it looked like he’d taken a plum right hook from someone who knew what they were doing. He had to go to hospital in the end and had it ‘glued’ with something or other. They did a good job. He told me that when the doc asked how many he’d had, he’d said “10”, which got a stern look. So, to make things better, the next time he was asked, he said “8” instead. Now, on the face of it that’s a better answer. However, here are some points to consider:

1. Lying to a doctor isn’t necessarily the best thing to do
2. Saying you had 10, then saying you had 8, makes you look like you had 20.
3. 8 probably still isn’t the answer that a doctor would be pleased about

So, Stephen Derwent, I salute you drunkeness and all that comes with it! Good man! Hope you’re feeling better.

Oh, one final thing; they gave him a leaflet (photocopied, I noticed. Maybe there’s a lot of head injuries in Leeds). The leaflet stated, in the final point of a 2 sided sheet, that you should refrain from reading anything. Good eh?!

Well, I knew I was going to right about that but never realised how much there was to say. If anyone asks you Steve, just point them to this!

Isn’t the weather awful? It’s hammering it down out there again and my work building can’t cope with it. In fact my flat has a bit of a damp mark on the ceiling now and I’ve got stuff in the loft. I hope it’s ok. I’m dreading checking and I’d rather things dried out first. It makes people drive like dickheads too.

Talking of which, I got pulled over the other day and stopped for speeding. I was doing 41 in a 30. I thought it was a 40 myself as did 3 or 4 other people I’ve spoken to since. The road is 1 lane until it turns from 40 to 30, then it goes into a dual carriageway. Have you ever heard of anything so daft?! Oh well, never mind I suppose. It does mean however that I’ve got to go on some speed awareness course and pay for the privilege. Better than 3 points, £60 fine and higher insurance I suppose.

Darts Update:
Singles knockout this week, I lost 1st round 2-0 despite hitting two 100’s in one leg. Not that arsed though really. That’s probably why I lost!

Right, I should find some work to do. I hope everyone’s well and in a sunnier place than Bradford!!



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