Leeds United

31 May 07


I like a bit of a giggle at Leeds expense and although this is a month or two old (at least) now, it made me laugh. Not convincing though as Leeds score 5.

Leeds United manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to

Two weeks later Leeds are 4-0 down to Barnsley with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation – scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Leeds! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. “Hello mum, guess what?” he says in an Iraqi accent. “I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves> >me, the fans, the media, they all love me.”

” Wonderful,” says his mum, “Let me tell you about my day…..
Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were
ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of
looters, and all while you were having such great time.”The young lad is very upset, “What can I say mum, but I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!” says his mum, “It’s your bloody fault we moved to Leeds in the first place!”


Public Transport & that Bloody Car again.

25 May 07


I had to get the bus to work this morning. I hate buses. They’re crap and uncomfortable. I had to get to Huddersfield bus station at half 7ish to get to Bradford for half 8. It got in a little early as it goes which impressed me but with the amount of bus lanes into Bradford I suppose it’s no surprise. Traffic only moves in Bradford when there isn’t a bus lane on the road, otherwise it’s all snarled up and you can’t get anywhere.

The reason I had to get a bus is that about half a mile from my house last night, my cars started making knocking sounds while going round corners. It’s not good and as I think the wheel bearing was going anyway and I sort of hope it’s related to that as it’s only 1 thing to fix. However, I doubt it is. At least my boss is letting me go early to go and get it sorted. I’ll probably go after I’ve written this in fact.

If it’s too expensive to fix I’m probably gonna scrap this thing. I’m not paying much more than £200 if it needs it. I reckon there’s a 50% chance of that so it’s 50-50 whether I’ll be a full-time public transport user.

Please let it be cheap!!!

Wish me luck.


Work, football and all that usual stuff

23 May 07


I’m bored today. All my work keeps on coming in bursts rather than trickling in like it usually does. No emails in over an hour then 7 in 5 minutes. What’s that all about?

Milan v Liverpool tonight. All the best to Liverpool as they try and stave off the rampant feelings of revenge that Milan will feel tonight after the 2005 final. I predict a win for Milan by 2 goals. Not sure if I think 2-0 or 3-1 though. As an Englishman I’d like to see Liverpool do it, as a United fan, I bloody wouldn’t so one way or the other I’ll be disappointed! I just hope it’s a better game than the torrid FA Cup final.

Got to go to Tesco’s tonight. I hope it’s not busy. Why do some people always take their whole extended family food shopping? I’ve never understood that. 3 or 4 generations together buying 16 pints of milk. They must have some fridge, I tell you.

Right, time for my weekly darts update then that’ll do. Hope you’re well, whoever’s reading this.

Darts Update:

I lost my game 3-0 and the team lost 5-0 not a good night at all! I hit my first 180 of the season though so it’s not all bad. I also beat one of my team-mates twice before he got bored and sat down again after the match which gave my other team-mates a good laugh!

Position: 3
My Result: 3-0 loss
Team Result: 5-0 loss
Season 180 Count: 1 (knowing me, it’ll probably stay that way!!)

Neighbours: We shall miss you

18 May 07

Hi all,

Have a look at this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6669769.stm

This means that our beloved programme, particularly amongst the university attenders amongst you, will now have adverts in.

I readily admit that Neighbours is probably up there in the top 10 worst television programmes on the BBC at the moment along with the unfunny Catherine Tate show and the terrible, no-characters-at-all, but massively watchable, Eggheads. However, I like the programme.

£300,000,000 is a lot of money over 8 years (the equivalent of 288,100ish of us paying for the programme over that time, if my maths is correct) but now we’ve got to put up with adverts instead.

RIP Neighbours. Come next spring, no-one will be watching it (possibly) 😦


Blog Transfer, F1 & Yorkshire Football

15 May 07

Hi all.

Well, I’ve decided to move my blog from MySpace to here as I think it’s better. The only good thing about MySpace’s blogging system is that you can say what music you’re listening to. The only problem with that is that I rarely listen to an album, I usually let me mp3’s run through randomly. Also, I don’t really listen to music all that much and tend to listen to speech radio (which is far far better, by the way!).

Right, enough of that. I hope everyone’s well out there. Maybe I’ll get a whole new audience for the blog, not that it’s very interesting as my previous posts indicate!

I’m at work today and have done all of my vital stuff already and it’s only half 10-ish. That means I’ve got 6 hours of sitting about, waiting for work to come my way. I don’t mind days like this but it will, inevitably, go very slowly indeed.

Anyone watch the grand prix? Wasn’t the most exciting race but plenty of incidents in there. Crashes, fires, tyre blow-outs etc. Keeps it interesting at least. Massa was awesome over the whole weekend and made everyone else look amateurish in comparison (except for maybe Coulthard who finished the race in 5th with no 3rd gear). Hamilton got on the podium again and as the points system favours consistency rather than brilliance, he now tops the drivers championship! Well done to him on that one and though I’d love him to stay there for the remainder of the season, I can’t see it happening. There’s too many other good drivers in good cars and if Massa keeps it up, no-one’ll get near him, not even his team mate Raikkonen who seems to be being put well and truly in his place by his team and his team mate.

The football season’s over more or less and well done to Bromley & Orpington who both got promoted this season. Good stuff. I don’t know if anyone noticed that Sheffield United, Leeds United & Bradford City all got relegated this season but if you did, you’d have noticed that there’s a distinctly Yorkshire feel to those three. It was announced on Look North (our local BBC news) last night that it’s not been a bad season for Yorkshire as Farsley Celtic have won promotion to the Conference (or Blue Square Premier, as it will be called next season) so well done to them. I must say that Yorkshire’s not exactly jumping for joy over this as, let’s be honest here, it’s been another terrible season of football in Yorkshire. Sorry guys! Now it’s the…

Darts Update:
No darts this week, god knows why. Why do we have to play on a bank holiday Monday then have the next week off?! Bloody stupid it is.

Well, I should go and do some of this non-existent work I’ve got to do. I’m sure I’ll find something to make the time go by.

Keep well,


A dream

10 May 07

I had a dream last night. It was a bit weird. I don’t usually remember dreams but this one’s just come back to me in the last minute or so. I was walking to the train station in Huddersfield and in the main square there, where Yorkshire Building Society used to be on the corner opposite Computec, was a Reggae Reggae Sauce restaurant. Now, I’ve never eaten this new fangled Dragon’s Den-approved sauce and can only imagine what it tastes like (and for about £3 or £4, I imagine it to be very nice indeed), I didn’t go in as it was quite busy and I had to be somewhere, Manchester I think. I’d love to go to one though. I think I’d have chicken.

Thanks for reading!


P.S. I don’t half write some crap on here.

Champions, snooker & junk food/sandwiches

8 May 07

Well it’s all over in the Premiership, except for 1 relegation place. Manchester United are champions once more and deserve it whole-heartedly for the effort, endeavour and style they’ve shown this season. No team comes close to matching the excitment of watching them in action. No other team has 3 players in Rooney, Giggs & C. Ronaldo who can carry the ball 50 yards in a counter attack at full pace before actually acheiving something at the other end. Well done! I must say I was delighted 🙂

Watch the snooker did ya? Good weren’t it? I like matches that go on late into the night, despite me having to get up for work today. I think I did quite well. Mark Selby will be back but well done to Higgins who won his 2nd world championship. No mean feat.

Looking forward to going home this afternoon more than usual. My food intake’s not been the best over the past couple of days and I think my stomach’s trying to tell me something. It could say it quietly to me but no, it’s saying it quite forcefully. Grrrrr. Here’s a run down of food:

Sunday Lunchtime: Sausage Butty
Sunday Dinner: Pizza Hut
Sunday General Munch: Most of a 12 pack of Jaffa Cakes and half a tube of Pringles

Monday Lunch: Dairylea & Peanut Butter Sandwich
Monday Dinner: Subway B.M.T. 12″
Monday General Munch: Biscuits. Lots of.

Today Lunch: Cheese & Pickle Sarnie, Crisps, Mars Bar
Today Dinner (pending): Sausage, egg, beans & chips.
Today General Munch: Probably more biscuits.

I’d best have something with veg in tomorrow. Branston pickle doesn’t have 5 a day in it.

Guess what’s coming next (not from my stomach)?!! It’s time for aaaaaaaaa…..

Darts Update:
Easy-peasy I’m sort of pleased to say. Got gradually worse throughout the games in my 3-0 win (to bring us back to 2-2, may I add!) but won without stressing myself out too much. Nice to win 3 in a row, but the team ended up losing 3-2 after they stole the last match off of us. we’ve got to win one day. It’s coming. Just pleased to say that I’m doing my bit 🙂

Position: 4
My Result: 3-0 win
Team Result: 3-2 loss

Right, I’m off to do some more work and hopefully feel better later on. Oh, one last thing. I’m on facebook now as well so look me up if you like. random_poo –@– hotmail.com (without the dashes) is my address so search for that.